A Whirlwind Weekend, part three

More than Friday's meeting, more than Sunday's message, I have been dreading Monday morning's surgery for weeks. It's rather pathetic, I suppose. It's not like I had heart surgery or anything. It was really quite minimal. It was oral surgery. Yet, even the term "oral surgery" possibly makes it sound bigger than it is.

I had my four wisdom teeth extracted. It sounds like such a small thing. They're only teeth. As a child, your teeth just fall out. Others may be pulled for various reasons, but nonetheless... No one sweats over these.

Except me. I have never had a single surgery in my entire life. I've never had anesthesia or an IV shoved into my arm. These are all firsts. And I've been terrified over many a horror story about dry sockets, the condition that occurs by any number of actions that keep the blood clotting to take after the surgery. Dry sockets, I have heard, make you very ill for a up to a couple weeks. All this in addition to the typical dietary restrictions that follow the procedure.

I suppose it is the inconvenience of it all that has peaked the most anxiety in me. Though they say it takes a good four days to recover from the surgery (the second and third are supposed to be the worst in pain, stiffness, and swelling) and begin eating somewhat normally, I am planning on returning to work on Wednesday evening. I want and need to get back to work. On top of that, I have a ton of classwork that has been accumulating. If I got dry sockets and became ill for a couple weeks, this would be an even greater setback.

But now that I've covered all my fears leading up to the surgery, I can celebrate that it actually went very well. Though I could still lose my clotting and get dry sockets, the surgery itself was a breeze. Dr. Zak gestured to the bag of IV solution and said, "This is not the anaesthetic. It will only make you smile and feel good, but that's it for now." He walked away, and BOOM! I was out. The next thing I new, I was sitting on a couch in another room as my wife and daughters joined around me and I was apparently attempting to sign something to my wife.

Piece of cake. No nausea. My mouth didn't even hurt. By that afternoon, I really felt pretty good. And now on day two, I am amazed that this has gone as well as it has. I don't feel sick, yet I am forced to sit, reading and watching movies. These are pretty cool days.


I wonder why I am so prone to fear and worry. I mean, it's not like I am consumed with such things. But all of us: We get so needlessly worked up over things that are really pretty small. I wonder how my fear--be it of preaching on Sunday or of surgery on Monday--reflects my view of God. My perception of his power and his goodness. The problem with me isn't so much how I see his power. I believe he is all-mighty and sovereign and can accomplish anything he wills. My problem isn't even his goodness. I believe he is. At least generally speaking. I guess where I wrestle is in how his goodness manifests itself in my own life. How much his goodness is personal. How much it's for me.

So days like these are really good for my understanding of God's blessings. This weekend has had some pretty incredible and challenging events. And my nerves have peaked in a couple different ways. And yet on the other side of each of them, I have found myself quite thankful. I have found myself standing before a God who is full of both lively adventure and blessed calm.


At least until I get dry sockets.