Living Sacrifice

Last night I was challenged with some words from a journal entry. Isn't it incredible how often hard-hitting quotes are discovered in other people's journals? Anyway, this one was found in Phil's journal. Most of you reading this, I would guess, are well aware of Phil Penner and his recent death (otherwise, I do invite you to look back a couple posts). This quote was read last night at Encounter, our evening worship gathering. Here it is:

"Living is a chance to follow Jesus...
Suffering is a chance to know him better...
And dying is a chance to see him."

The trouble with these quotes is that they sound so familiar and appear so easy to say. Almost too easy. They sound good and really spiritual. We've seen stuff like this before in other people's journals--you know, famous missionaries and whatnot. We read them, and we're like, "Yeah, that's so true." And how many of us have memorized Philippians 1:20, "For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain." How many times have I seen such words scratched accross the cover of someone's notebook? How many times have I seen Phil 1:20 on someone's Facebook under their favorite quotes? We love these kinds of words. It's like we find a spiritual high in such words (and with good reason) that propels us to live more fully for Christ.

But here's what hits me right now:

That Phil Penner actually lived those words.

That Phil didn't just write about living, suffering, and dying to know Christ. He didn't just put it on his Facebook and call it a day. No, he actually lived it. And this isn't just because he went to a hostile Muslim nation to tell people about Jesus. It's because even while he was here in the States, he devoted every expense of energy and breath of air toward demonstrating the love of Christ to other people. He didn't waste his time on the things I do. He didn't get caught up in the selfish ambitions that I do. No, from every possible angle, it seems that he had no other desire but to give himself fully to the Lord and his work. Though his missionary work is not why he was fully given, it is possibly the natural result of such surrender. In everything Phil did, the truth of his journal entry is evident: "Living is a chance to follow Jesus... surrender is a chance to know him better... and dying is a chance to see him."

The truth is, though I do believe we may be able to serve God just as fully anywhere on the globe, I know we use this fact as an excuse to not go to those certain areas that are dangerous and uncomfortable. Though not all of us are called to a hostile Muslim nation where Christianity is illegal, all of us are indeed called to be willing. The problem is that most of us are not.

I find further challenge in this. As a pastor in the US, I am confident of my calling here. As I look at my skills, gifts, and abilities, I see no more effective place for me to minister than in metropolitan America. At the same time, I do believe that I am willing to go anywhere. I used to want to to oversees work. While working on my BA, I gave serious thought to ministering long-term in Europe. After a ten-day mission to Tegucigalpa, Honduras, I gave some consideration to doing full-time work there. And I have often thought about how I would love to do translation work with Wycliffe or something. Yet at the end of the day, I come down to the fact that I would simply be more effective here. That what I have to offer would go further here at home.

Where, incidentally, it just happens to be a lot more comfortable.

So part of me wonders from time to time if I really am gifted most fully for ministry in America. Of if subconsciously that's just where I want to minister. How willing am I really? How much am I truly surrendered? I do honestly feel like I am genuine in my willingness to go anywhere. I feel sincere and confident as I assess where God's calling rests on my life. But I also feel like we in the States all too easily allow ourselves to assume God's desire for our comfort. We all too quickly buy into the trickery that God's will for our lives is one of success and safety. I think these are questions we all need to ask ourselves. Each of us must war with what we assume God's plans for our lives are. Every one of us must come to grips with the fact that suffering is sometimes a tool of God and not always his enemy.

Phil knew this and as he laid awake at night realizing that his work in Southeast Asia could result in torture and death... or in falling victim to foreign illness, he still followed his understanding that life, suffering, and death are all valuable in how they show us Jesus. So Phil gave up any personal ambition and handed them in for a deeper intimacy with his Lord. Did this desire result in a premature departure from this earth? Most certainly yes, it did. But it also allowed him to "see Jesus" earlier than we have.

May each of us fight the temptations of comfort and security with the perfume of knowing Christ more fully. May the sweetness of such insight tease our nostrils and may we lay aside our earthly cares for heavenly ones. May we follow more fully in the light of a bright Savior. And as we think of Phil and his example, may the Apostle Paul's words come to mind, "Be imitators of me as I am of Christ" (1Cor. 11:1).